Uncertain Certainty

Cross Between The Trees-Living Stones Church, Kona, HI

“But, first, remember, remember, remember the signs. Say them to yourself when you wake in the morning and when you lie down at night, and when you wake in the middle of the night. And whatever strange things may happen to you, let nothing turn your mind from following the signs. And secondly, I give you a warning. Here on the mountain I have spoken to you clearly: I will not often do so down in Narnia. Here on the mountain, the air is clear and your mind is clear; as you drop down into Narnia, the air will thicken. Take great care that it does not confuse your mind. And the signs which you have learned here will not look at all as you expect them to look, when you meet them there. That is why it is so important to know them by heart and pay no attention to appearances. Remember the signs and believe the signs. Nothing else matters.”

~ C.S. Lewis, The Chronicles of Narnia

The pastor at church this past Sunday touched on the above passage, which resonated with me.  God had been instructing me lately to be continually on the lookout for Him so this message to Remember the signs and believe the signs really struck a chord.

These past couple of weeks have been loaded with uncertainty and, honestly, some uncomfortable doubt about whether all things really do work together for the good of those that love Him.  A childhood friend’s cancer diagnosis and my own journey with a pending health scare has put life’s impermanent nature at the forefront and left me on unsteady ground.  Turning 50 recently hasn’t helped.

Needless to say it’s been a reflective time.  I feel more in tune with the present moment and empathetic towards people and their daily struggles.  I can see clearly the things that matter and the many things that don’t.  I grow closer to God even as I struggle against what He’s laid before me.    How frustrated He must be that I turn to Him during bad times as quickly as I turn away during good ones.

It’s easy to get upside down in situations like this and let hot emotions lead the way so I grasp on to promises whispered through the thick, heavy air.

Nothing will ever separate me from the love of God~Romans 8:38

He will never leave nor forsake me~Deuteronomy 31:8

His promise of peace will never be removed~Isaah 54:17

He will answer earnest prayers~John 15:7

Yes, remember the signs and believe the signs.  Nothing else matters.

Could I ask a small favor that you say a prayer for a good outcome for me as I go through some medical testing this Thursday morning?

Things should be ok, my doctor is just taking some extra precautions, but good wishes and prayers would be welcome.

***Quick update to let everyone know that my doctor called me personally to let me know the tests results were great and I couldn’t have asked for a better outcome.  Also the rare form of cancer my friend was diagnosed with has not spread and things are looking good.  Thank you all for your prayers and kind words.  And thank you especially to God, you are always so good!******