“I Didn’t Need the Nazi, I Had One in Me”



Edith Eva Eger was starved, beaten and terrorized on a daily basis during her brutal stay at a WWII Nazi death camp, even forced to dance with Josef Mengele, the infamous Angel of Death who murdered her parents along with countless others.  She survived that horrible time by clinging to her mother’s last words before being sent to the gas chamber, “I want you to remember, no one can change what is in your own mind”.

That brief sentence became a personal mantra for Eger, both during her time at Auschwitz and while battling the post-traumatic stress disorder she suffered for years after the war.  In fact she built an entire career around it, as a highly successful clinical psychologist, helping thousands overcome trauma by accessing what’s inside of them to make the shift from victimhood to empowerment.

This took time though, as survivor’s guilt messed with her thinking process, causing much shame.  Years after refusing to walk at her graduation from the University of Texas (with honors) because she felt too old, she realized she never really left the concentration camp.  As she says:

“I became a high achiever because I never thought I deserved to survive.  So where is Hitler?  I didn’t need the Nazi.  I had one in me.”

Fortunately, most of us will never experience what Dr. Eger did during the Holocaust, but we all carry trauma from the past that bleeds in to the present. Our own inner Nazi exploits this with words like:

“You’ll never make this work.”

“How could you be so stupid?

“You’re a fraud.” 

“Nobody really likes you.”

“You’re ugly.”

 “You don’t measure up.”

 “What’s wrong with you?”

 “Why did you say something so dumb?”

Crippling self talk poisons a person’s soul and can rob them of their ability to be who God created them to be. It stems from anger and resentment and breeds a victimhood identity, which in turn brings on depression, fear and spiritual paralysis.

If anyone has the right to be angry and resentful of their past, it’s Dr. Evers, yet she is not. When asked about going back to Auschwitz 35 years after the war ended she said,

Oh, it was the most excellent thing I’ve ever done. I needed to look at that large lion in the face and I needed to laugh at him.”

Dr. Evers believes our thought process plays a critical role in how we cope with life and that it’s essential for those stuck in the past to face their own lions and to not let others or events define who they are. She goes on to say:

“I do have a story but I am not my story. I may not have overcome it but I came to terms with it. It is wonderful to be a WHOLE person – the more you depend on needing others to heal… the more you are a victim.”

Avoiding pain is a national pastime in America. Sky rocketing substance abuse levels, intolerance of views we disagree with, trigger warnings on even remotely controversial content; this all feeds in to a collective desire to hide from discomfort. It’s these very protections though, these giant “safe spaces” we draw around our lives, that can prevent inner reflection and emotional growth.

Yet our societal instinct is to numb emotions through antidepressants, drugs and alcohol, which only feeds a vicious cycle that leads back to victimhood.

Does this mean we should be happy when difficult times come around? Of course not, but we should recognize the value these experiences bring in teaching us how to deal with life and each other.

On May 4th, 1945, seventeen-year-old Edith Eger was left to die in a pile of corpses and would surely have done so had an American soldier passing by not glanced up and seen her hand move. Emaciated, barely breathing with a broken back and suffering from Typhus, it was a miracle she survived.

Dr. Eger believes she was allowed to live through those awful days of the Holocaust for a reason. It was God she turned to then for the strength, “to turn hatred into pity” and “to pray for the guards” and who put her on a mission to lead others out of their emotional imprisonment to what she calls the ultimate spiritual freedom of forgiveness and love.

“I remember, God had spoken to me, and said, if you die, you’re going to be a coward.  But if you live, I’m going to show you that you’re going to be for something.

And how does she feel now after all those years?

“We are all survivors here and not a victim. I don’t have time to be a victim. I was victimized.”

And about Hitler?

“I am a mother of 3, grandmother of 5 and great grandmother to 3…, that is the best revenge against Hitler.”

 Amen to that Dr. Eger and God bless you.

To learn more about this remarkable woman and her new book, The Choice, go here.

Prison “The biggest concentration camp is in your own mind and you can find the key in your pocket.”~Edith Eva Eger








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23 Responses to “I Didn’t Need the Nazi, I Had One in Me”

  1. madblog says:

    Wow! Thanks Tricia. This really is counter cultural right now.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. This is just one special person of countless special people that survived and ultimately thrived by moving beyond the personal atrocities forced upon them. One does not need to experience concentration camps to live a life imprisoned by the mind. Our personal acceptance of irresponsible policies and willingness to follow these policies lacking merit self impose invisible prisons within our own minds. We tend to complain with “words” and then proceed without “actions.” As one begins to realize, “the land of the free” doesn’t truly exist, it provides an opportunity to objectively view life from a new and more realistic perspective. It is only from this perspective that one can “free” the confined mind and experience a “freedom” few will ever come to know.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. ColorStorm says:

    I hate hearing of the inhumanity. I love you telling of the inhumanity.
    Good stuff T.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Awesome post, Tricia. Well done. I really enjoyed reading that. “Our own inner Nazi,” I’ll have to remember that one.

    In the modern world it sure seems as if we have a whole lot of people plagued by an inner Nazi and trying to blame everyone else in the world for it. You see this a lot with domestic violence and child sexual abuse, people unhealed, pointing fingers and blaming the church, society, politicians, the patriarchy. You can’t fix what is inside of you by trying to change everything around you. The feminist slogan, “the personal is political,” has done us a lot of harm. The personal is personal and cannot be healed politically. Even if it were possible to create a perfectly safe world for everyone, that inner Nazi is still going to be with you. So slay it, overcome it, and get on with the business of living.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Tricia says:

      I so agree with what you say IB. And we both know it’s not just a point of clicking your heels and thinking positively, as severe trauma can really mess a person up. For many, it’s a long road to recovery, but that first step of addressing what’s going on in side of you is essential.

      Of course there are always those who really didn’t suffer trauma, but are getting sucked in by the victimhood mentality pushed by politicians, SJW’s and the media. This actually concerns me more.

      Liked by 2 people

  5. Citizen Tom says:

    Hate is a normal thing. We cannot avoid hating, but we have to learn to focus on solutions. If what we love does not matter a great deal more to us than we what hate, we risk becoming what we hate. Instead of having our eyes on Jesus, we will have them on the devil.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Oh wow Tricia—what an amazing story and you know it’s right up my alley!!!!
    I’ll go order the book now. I did just order a book and it came yesterday, The Book Thieves…The Nazi Looting Of Europe’s Libraries And The Race To Return A Literary Inheritance.
    Thank you for sharing such an amazing story!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Tricia says:

      I knew you would appreciate this Julie! I’ve just ordered hDr. Eger’s book but have not yet read it. I did hear her speak the other night which inspired this post. She’s truly an amazing person.

      I will have to check out those books you mention too. My mom said she just bought me another French Resistance book, The Alice Network. So much reading to do, so little time! 😉

      Liked by 2 people

  7. Al says:

    Incredible story. Thanks for bringing it to the fore, Tricia. I’m certainly guilty of that crippling self -talk on occasion. I have every reason to be totally thankful for my life and yet I will still allow myself negative vibes that have no merit in helping me live a productive life. Need to definitely chase that Nazi out!!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. E. Williams says:

    Super inspiring story about an amazing woman! I’d have hit the “Love” button if there were one.

    Liked by 2 people

  9. Tricia says:

    Reblogged this on Freedom Through Empowerment and commented:

    In honor of today being Holocaust Remembrance Day, I am reblogging a post I did on the amazing Judith Eva Eger, whose story exemplifies how one can overcome adversity through the most horrific of circumstances. May we never forgot the horrors of the Holocaust and the the evil that both spawned and enabled it to continue.


  10. Canuck Carl says:

    Wow, I somehow missed reading this from last September and am so glad you reblogged it Tricia. Such a young age, but so mature in her faith during the holocaust. What a miracle she survived, and what a powerful life work she done to help others with trauma.
    God bless you Tricia. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Tricia says:

      Thanks Carl and God bless you as well. She’s a pretty neat lady and lives right here in my town! I hit the wrong button and trashed your comment by mistake. I hope you know I would; never do that to you! 🙂


  11. xPraetorius says:

    A powerful story, powerfully told, Tricia! I loved reading it. especially: “I do have a story but I am not my story. I may not have overcome it but I came to terms with it. It is wonderful to be a WHOLE person – the more you depend on needing others to heal… the more you are a victim.”

    How humble! And how humbling!


    — x

    Liked by 1 person

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