A Good Man

My dad died recently.  Needless to say, it’s been a rough week and I’ve been struggling with how to, or even if I should, write about it.  I want to honor him, but it feels exploitive in a way to post about his death.

I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s ok, as I really don’t care how many people hit the like button or make a comment.  I love my dad and he deserves a public acknowledgement, it’s that simple.  If he were around he would tell me to stop fussing and just publish something for God’s sake.  Ok Pops, done deal.

Pops was the type of man who didn’t feel the need to talk all the time, but when he did, it was full of meaning and purpose.  He was very responsible too, always handling things behind the scenes and making sure my mom and siblings were taken care of.  Stuff I never realized he was doing until years later.

Being a girl and the youngest of four kids, I was, um, a bit spoiled with a budding entitlement mentality.  This being anathema to my dad’s way of thinking caused more than a few clashes between us, especially during my bratty teen years.  Oh how we argued, resulting in me on several occasions packing my bags, ready to leave  home.  Of course I never did.

A funny thing happened though during my mid-twenties when I finally came to realize that my dad was right about almost everything after all.  I suddenly clearly saw how the stuff he did that drove me bonkers as a child; the boundaries, the denial of things “everyone else had”, the focus on personal responsibility and hard work, were done because he loved me.  He saw the road I was headed down and wanted to shield me from the brick wall I was barreling towards.  He did it because that’s what good dads do, protect their own, especially their little girls.

In today’s world it’s easy to forget all the many men out there of good character like my dad. The headlines of course are dominated by the perpetually loud and offended, those who are always hollering about how unfair something is and blaming others for their unhappiness. It  just never would have occurred to my dad to do this, despite a tough upbringing filled with broken people and miserably unfair events.

No, his way was to identify a problem and  fix it and if that wasn’t possible, well just shut up about it, because no one likes a complainer and it doesn’t do any good anyway.  He also did a lot to help people that needed it most but without saying a word.

Helping people without calling attention to himself, yup, that was my dad’s way.

Yes, my dad was a good man, a very good man.  Thank you Pops for all you did for me, rest in peace and I will see you on the other side.

PopsandMom-Ireland

A tribute page to help benefit the Alzheimer’s Association has been set up in my dad’s memory.  No pressure to donate but if you feel the urge, please go here.

 

 

 

 

 

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41 Responses to A Good Man

  1. ColorStorm says:

    Just perfect. No more no less trish.
    Again, condolences on a difficult time of life, but that ‘other side………’ 😉

    and btw, Your dad and I share the same first name.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I am so sorry for your loss. You wrote a beautiful tribute to your dad. May God wrap you in His peace and comfort.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. carlalouise89 says:

    I’m so sorry for your loss.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Wally Fry says:

    That was beautiful Tricia. Sometimes you have to let things out in words. Sorry about your Dad. You will see him again, which is cool.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Al says:

    My condolences, Trish. In just a few paragraphs, you gave your dad the greatest gift any dad could ever want from his daughter, recognition that everything is done from the love in his heart. Absolutely beautifully written! I’m glad he “pushed” you to do it.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Julie says:

    You were right to honor him Tricia. He was a good and handsome man. Saying a prayer for your sweet heart. I know how hard it is to lose a dad.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Dennis says:

    An outstanding tribute to your Dad Tricia.
    You did a marvelous job of identifying the problems of growing up with a responsible and loving parent(s) and finally realizing that they were “right” all the time.
    They did a wonderful job raising you and your siblings. What better way to honor your parents then to become responsible adults.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Tricia says:

      Well thank you Dennis, I really appreciate that. I am sure your kids feel the same way about you as I do my dad, you share a lot of his qualities. 🙂

      Like

  8. He would have enjoyed your tribute. I’m quite certain he is smiling as I am typing. I’m sorry for your loss, but glad for your dad’s new world. It is sad when our bodies become a prison. His soul has been liberated along with the strain of Alzheimer’s Disease. He will always remain in your heart.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Canuck Carl says:

    This is beautiful Tricia. As hard as it probably was to write, as you struggle with your grief and emotions with your loss, I want to say THANK YOU for writing this. It is a very touching tribute, and even in his picture; he is such a gentle looking man. Having those boundaries and all that is indeed he would have loved you so much.
    I am sincerely sorry for your loss! ❤
    ~Carl~

    Liked by 1 person

    • Tricia says:

      Thank you so much Carl for such kind words. It was difficult to write but as you probably know it helps to process things. My dad loved me, a lot. It took me years to realize this, so glad I did.

      Liked by 1 person

  10. madblog says:

    I’m sorry for your loss, and I know it’s been a long hard road for you. Take care of yourself.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. May peace and comfort quickly find you and yours, my friend.

    I think you will enjoy this podcast. While many will hear it and wistfully say “yeah, that’s a good idea but it’s tough,” I think you will smile and think “yes, my dad got it right.”

    ===|==============/ Keith DeHavelle

    Liked by 2 people

    • Tricia says:

      Thank you Keith, I really appreciate your that. It is a strange time right now as you are all too familiar with, I know. I’ve got a great family and support system, thank God and wonderful blogging friends to see me through.

      I just looked at the subjects for that podcast and you’re right, it definitely looks perfect for how my dad was with me! I will listen to it over the weekend. 🙂

      Like

  12. Mike Hohmann says:

    Condolences on the loss of your dad, Tricia. You wrote a nice tribute to him; he’s proud of you too! I’ve told several life-long friends that I’d ‘see them on the other side’ in the past year. Time is a good healer for such losses, yet the good memories remain.

    Tonight is my first visit to your blog by the way. Your categories look interesting, I think I’ll stick around awhile.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Tricia says:

      Hi Mike, thanks for your condolences and kind words. And I’m sorry for the losses you’ve gone through too. It sure does seem like this year has had more than it’s share of saying goodbye to good people.

      I appreciate you coming by and sticking around a bit. 😉

      Like

  13. Salvageable says:

    I add my condolences to those above. One of the finest tributes to your father’s worth is the daughter he raised. J.

    Liked by 2 people

  14. Chris Warren says:

    No deep thoughts or lengthy dialog this time.

    I’m sorry for your loss and hope you and your family do well.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. irtfyblog says:

    Tricia, I’m so sorry for your loss and so very sorry that I somehow missed this post.
    God bless you and your family.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Tricia says:

      Thank you so much irfy and please, no reason at all to be sorry for missing the post. Hope you’re well.

      Liked by 1 person

      • irtfyblog says:

        I am doing well. thank you. God is good to me and has blessed me in so many ways. But the real question is…How are you doing?

        I hadn’t seen any recent posts from you as of late and wondered where you were, and after reading this post I understood why you weren’t around. a loss of this nature is never easy, and just know that I’ll be praying for you and your family my friend.

        Let me know if there’s anything specific that I can pray for…or if you need someone to talk with, feel free to send me an email. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

        • Tricia says:

          Irfty I just saw this comment and must apologize that I missed it and didn’t respond earlier. Thank you so much for you concern and offer of prayer. It’s interesting because I was really missing my dad tonight and felt compelled to read this post and found your comment. It gave me some comfort as it’s always nice to know people are watching your back. God bless my friend. 🙂

          Liked by 1 person

          • irtfyblog says:

            I do hope and pray that you’re doing well. God has put you on my heart a number of times these past weeks and I’ve lifted up prayers for you and your family.

            Please know that there’s a number of us here for you, so if you ever need someone to talk with privately, please don’t hesitate to email any of us…that includes me. rtfyblog@gmail.com

            Liked by 1 person

          • Tricia says:

            That means a lot to me irfty. Again, thank you. 🙂

            Liked by 1 person

  16. Reblogged this on and commented:
    This is worth a read.
    Note: Comments disabled here. Please visit their blog.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. A wonderful tribute to your dad.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Pingback: One of My Favorite Blogs – The Praetorian Writers Group

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