When you hide who you are, you’re preventing the person you were made to be from living its intended life. Your connections with others will be shallow and strained, as they will be driven by fear; either of people finding out who you really are or of people finding out who you really are not. Stop the “harmless” lies, the self-promoting, the agreeing to things that go against your values and the gossiping about others to make yourself feel better. Take a chance and be honest, be vulnerable, be kind, be humble, be you.
Kill Negative Loop Thinking Before It Consumes You
When I’m anxious about something, I find it all but impossible to prevent “what if such and such happens”thoughts from entering my mind. Often they spin out of control with one feeding off the other, making me feel much worse than the situation warrants, thus spawning more catastrophic thinking. It’s best to squelch those thoughts as soon as they happen but you need to be aware of what’s going on.
This requires a conscious effort to first identify when the crazy spigot gets turned on and then just sitting for a bit to process what’s going through your head and how that makes your body feel (i.e., dry mouth, pounding heart, etc….). The panic will fade (I promise) and when your mind is stabilized a bit, choose more positive thoughts that combat that negative thinking. Then make a firm statement out loud that the subject is closed for now and do your best to let things go.
Live In The Now
There is so much awesomeness going on at all times, all around us but we get so absorbed with either dissecting a past moment or worrying about a future one that we miss life happening right now! Take time to just see what’s going on around you and even inside your own body; how cold or warm your hands are, what smells are in the air, the smile on a child’s face, the beauty of a life well lived that exudes from your elderly neighbor, it could be anything. Don’t judge good or bad about these things, just observe and enjoy and you’ll find your day flows much easier.
Take Care of The Yucky Stuff
It’s very tempting to put off doing unpleasant tasks and/or to blame others for our having to do them in the first place. Whether it’s paying a large bill, having a needed but sure to be uncomfortable discussion with a family member, or working on a project with someone you don’t like, just take ownership of it and do what needs to be done with a good attitude and a humble heart, knowing you’re doing the right thing and your plate is being cleared for more fun stuff later on.
Just Show Up
You may be scared to death to give that speech, take on a big project, comfort a friend or volunteer for something new but if your heart is tugging you to do something, just do it! You’ll be surprised at how competent you really are and even if you mess up, so what, at least you’re trying. Life is not about hiding out and protecting yourself from pain, that is merely existing. There is so much freedom when you let go of judgments on how things will be and just be open to what comes up.
Life has a lot to offer, even during the bad times. Keep your eyes, ears and heart open to the beauty and it will reveal itself to you.